Even if just for a moment I dwell in darkness by fantasizing what if’s…….My next thought are always a notch or so lower and more serious negative realities.When I suspect it I create it. Another example of how essential it is to be conscious of being conscious. It is never a one of…it is everything all of the time. It is the purpose of even being here having these life experiences. Not to mention the proof of it can be felt in an instant. You know when you know and it’s a definite feeling. It’s a lot like the feeling of being in love. Imagine that! I knew it was familiar and I knew that it felt that way but I just totally got it that it is that way! And all this time I really thought I was smart and all this time I couldn’t see what has always been right there in my face. It’s fucking amazing how this stuff works and it does work. There is no doubt in my mind that I am on the right road to where ever it is I’m supposed to be on my way to. That, I’m afraid, is still a mystery but certainly an exciting one. It can get old pretty fast but somehow, always just in the nick of time there’s a breakthrough and the pressure shatters leaving clarity in its wake and answers to be realized.