I should be writing this for the advocate or one of those kinds of magazines….But this is just a comment about gay marriage.
I remember years ago there was a group of activists called “Load and Proud” I think, it was something like that and they were always flying banners with some issue or another about being louder and prouder and making sure everyone knew it. It was west Hollywood and that is/was always the place where everything gay was to be found. All the restaurants and bars and every other kind of hang out, etc. It’s just the way it’s always been since I grew up. So that’s where everyone hung out. But there was always this radical group promoting gay marriage and as far as I was concerned it was just another impossible expectation to be loud and proud about…..It was the 60’s and 70’s and 80’s and 90’s and then it started getting to be a real cause celeb……No one would ever suspect that we would ever elect a gay President let alone a black and gay President! That’s never gonna happen!
but that’s not what this is about either. Once I saw an interview with some people that were either deaf or blind, I don’t remember which but because of their disability they over time have created their own society of sorts where only they are able to communicate with one another and no outsiders are allowed basically and they like it that way. can’t say I blame them either considering all the flack they must have had to endure their whole life from those ignorant folk raised without the empathy gene.
Anyway, growing up in the 50’s and 60’s, etc. was an interesting time. Rock and roll had barely broke through the surface to the shaky hips of Elvis Presley who blew the conservative right wing branch of this country clear out of the water! It was the devils music, they grumbled to one another and everyone else who would listen. No body cared, it was a break from folk music. Those were the times back then and certainly gay marriage was not a consideration if it was even considered at all for anything. In fact it didn’t exist for all intent and purpose. But there were always gay people. Even back in the days of Christ…the Romans were a notorious lot not to mention Sodom and Gomorrah !
But just like with those people who because of their collective disabilities found common ground within their own circles….many gay people who had to make these kinds of decisions when they realized they would never marry someone of the opposite sex or ever hve that kind of family….they knew the consequences of this life style and still had no choice in the matter…..contrary to those who believe being gay is a choice! I mean who in their right mind would choose this life? That said, once the realization of these things become clear you then begin the search to find like minded social expressions of who you are.
When you must consciously make these decisions about how your live will and won’t be you too develop a camaraderie with your social relationships that is different than friends have in straight life. It’s just as different as it must be with those who are deaf and/or blind. I believe this is what a lot of resistance must be about inside the gay community when it comes to this issue with those of certain generations. Everyone wants the opportunity to have family in their life and marriage is truly a wonderful goal to have…..It just showed up all of the sudden and for those of us in the later years, the memories of getting arrested for dancing is still very real.