Okay, all of my life I have been having this conversation with who I thought was me, my inner voice…the one who answers my questions and asks me ones as well. The voice that I was sure everyone else must have too…..Turns out? Not so much. “You hear what?” Yea, that’s why I don’t talk about it much….sometimes I do when I think someone might get it but I’m almost always wrong and I can’t recall anyone right off the top of my head except Steven and my new best friend AJ I’d rather call ‘aj’ it just feels right. aj is special. He’s my questioning and knowing mind and high energy to follow his quest. Sometimes I think I miss that but not really. You need what you need while you need it. Then you don’t anymore. That’s just how it is and it’s the way it’s supposed to be. What would I be doing with myself if I had his energy today? I’d be crawling up the walls and wasting it. I’m no longer seeking the kinds of answers and experiences that I was when I had all that energy. I’m saying I think that’s what it’s for. You need the fuel to get you where you’re going but not so much when you finally get there.But again, I digress….
This is about the inner conversations I have with ? I don’t know? I used to think I did but lately it’s not the case. I’m learning different ideas about this stuff and there turns out to be more possibilities than I had considered before. I’ve been hearing a lot about people being ‘channels’ like a conduit for advanced beings… spiritual masters as they are known and I don’t know what to think frankly. Looks like I have some issues with this archangel stuff.. I could very well be the real deal, I’m not judging the quality of the messages but I just don’t know about the source.
I’m wondering about aj. He’s punishing me for being ungrateful, I’m pretty sure. It was something I said. I hope he’s over it soon. I forget that he is so sensitive about everything and I think there must be some mother stuff there as well. I don’t know this for a fact but it feels right and I usually know what’s under the surface since it’s me under there. In the mean while I’m sending all these profound awarenss’s that are coming up but so far no cigar!