I may have met my match here. When I said,  ‘You’re not going to win you know ?’ ‘You don’t know how to play the game’….At the very same time I had forgotten what the game really is.  Thanks again, whoever I are.  “But this is a person who cleans her stove with a vacuum cleaner, a ‘Shark Dust Devil’ for crying out loud !” I was already pretty gone for hours it seems like. Most of my afternoon was spent steaming and fuming for some satisfaction, something besides being kicked in the teeth.  I wouldn’t have it any other way. Must be a masochist or something.  Sy had a lot resistance but he was no match for sure.  I have to say that it was more than just disappointing as I had closet expectations of his intelligence.  I too was fooled.  Then again it’s actually possible that he has always been in my life to do the same job ?  That’s big.  He showed up at the very beginning of my  self, around 8 or 9 as I recall.  We lived on Dickens then, the Camborian Estates (inside family joke).  The seed had been planted. In fact the whole damn farm had been seeded for my life to come and all in a very short time.  I didn’t know any of this as I know it now, in my 70’s.  “It’s a long long way to Tip-arairie”   and that’s no joke.  I had clues along the way. I didn’t know they were clues I thought it was my thinking going on not instruction I was listening to.  I have and had significant memories I can recall that validates this information. It’s really all there.  Just like in the words that tell secrets as truth.  I saw that so clearly with Sy and Lenette in their words.   Sy kept asking me, ‘how do you know that ? how can you be so sure of what your saying ? It’s funny now. Its sad as well but at the same time how can it be anything ? I planned the whole journey and those who have and do participate with me know as little about it as I do when I’m also participating in the drama of it.

Still there is so much more to see and get and go further, proving again and again that the brighter the light the darker the shadows become. I forget that a lot….and so grateful when I can remember .

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