Ashley

It’s a funny thing about words….One of the first really profound awakenings I had a while back was about not just words but more about definitions…and how much different a word can be defined by its use and by its user.

When I was a young person, like grammar school age, one of my favorite things to do was read this big dictionary we had. It was the kind with the glyphs on the pages as examples of words that had several meanings. Sometimes the glyphs were pen and ink sketches or symbols and the paper was very thin like onion skin. It was a real thick and a rather large volume and I would grab it on my way to the room at my house we affectionately called ‘the library’.

But I digress…When I first realized that words meant different things to different people well, it changed everything. Words were tools and needed to be defined! It was then I knew.  Yes, it was all clear.  Finally it all made sense. It was words, it was definitions. No wonder nothing made any sense before. I was understanding  according to my definitions that I got out of that big dictionary. It’s no wonder there was this huge gap between my understanding and most others………not all but a large majority was on other side of this argument.

The thing is that I’ve lived my whole life not knowing this one thing that would have made a major difference in how I defined almost everything and why very few others seemed to know what I was talking about.

It’s the perfect, “Doh! I  should have had a V/8!” moment if ever there was one.

So, as someone who thinks themselves a communicator, I’m in the wrong something. It’s not easy to have to face something as life changing and as telling of the  direction of that life……. as this one thing is.  It’s that big!

So, now about why I’m writing this post:Have you guessed it’s about words?  Good. Because it is. It’s about the words, “Auto-Fail”… and it’s about how I seem to have blown this thing out of the water…..for which I once again, apologize.

Maybe I am a little OCD but it’s a lot because of this thing that came up after I left. I realized it as an opportunity to expand my data base and response system in the area of verbal knee jerk reaction scenarios.  I reacted to meaningless words but what I noticed mostly is how differently you and I defined those words. You saw mine and what I saw (later as I reran the scene in my memory)was that we were not watching  the same program.  We were both seeing completely different screens.  I was watching myself in a court room (sort of) as a defendant…while you where watching the same case but as a prosecutor.  I’m not saying that’s what you really saw but I am saying that you can see how the center can fall out when two people using the same words can define them differently than each other and subsequently speaking side by side rather than back and forth….or even passing each other along the way without acknowledging seeing or the best is : as if speaking different languages…..as truly we are.

Wait a minute, I just got something…….I remember you said that it was still fresh for me……so it came up twice, right? So….that must be what it’s about. It’s in there somewhere.  Sometimes I really love the process….especially when I’m on the right track.

Okay then………..I think I’ve milked this subject well into next month.

Thank you

But wait, there’s more…….There turns out to be some control issues here as well…………………….hmmmmmmmmmmmm I hate it when someone ‘chooses for me.’  That’s it! The words just got me here. Wowza.

You have just witnessed the last two hours in my brain.  Thank you for letting me share :~)

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