Christina and Poncho

Dear Christina If you didn’t do stuff to make other people feel bad you wouldn’t feel bad. Everything we think we are doing to other people out of anger and fear, is really just using someone else in your mind to treat badly because you feel so badly yourself. The problem with that practice is that we always stay in fear and anger and always notice it in everyone else. The term is projection. It’s bigger than just a simple diagnosis of a condition. It’s way more than a simple condition as it is a part of our consciousness that is always and literally in our face.

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Why we have memories

So I can bring it all home back to the source of all.  Life is like a Holi-Deck in Star Trek creating an experience to live.  I identify the experience as my  life, with  all the drama and it’s all done unconsciously.You can’t be in two places at the same time. Actually that’s not true it’s all about aspects of myself and I’m all over the place at any given time. Like here, now.

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“Power corrupts absolutely”

“Power corrupts………”                                                                                                                       Absolute power corrupts absolutely;”                                                                                               “I am all powerful…….”                                                                                                                    “Draw your own conclusions”


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Just thinking

I remember feeling like I had lost all hope. I had no purpose to be alive and was only taking up space..I remember thinking that I was even to unworthy to be breathing the air that someone with a purpose could be using.

That was a very depressing time and it seems like it lasted a long time, years, decades in fact.I tried everything to elevate my state of mind and wound up find heroin that turned out to be my saving grace.In a very abstract way I believe it actually saved my life.It dulled the deep dissatisfaction I experienced as a part of a so called society that made absolutely no sense at all to me. Ny family was convinced I had mental problems and so that was it. She’s nuts, they’d all say behind my back. They sent me to shrinks at 12 years old so I would get right. Ice skating lessons and Charm School to develop more feminine ways with the bonus of learning how to walk up and down stairs in shoes never meant for the human foot. Mom’s closet is where norm,al clothes were to be found for those special occasions I was obligated to appear. What made it worse was having a very normal sister to always be compared to. Maybe that was what I meant when I had the thought that she was going to ruin my life. that came to me at Roosevelt Park in Chicago, when I was very young and getting off the merry go round feeling kid joy even though it seemed I was always down when the brass ring came around. that is until my sister informed me I was on a stationary horse that didn’t even go up. It wasn’t so much that I was crushed as I became very aware at that moment that life was getting ready to begin with a big red caution sign flashing in my consciousness.

Turns out I was preceint, we no longer even speak. haven’t for probably 40 years, if that’s a clue. This is the person who became a conservative religious Jew, to which I would say, Ouy! I could even say that in thee later years of my life and after spending hours on line getting educated about history well I am practically an antisemite. thanks Jackie, for the opportunity to research religion.

I needed to completely break down so I could finally break through and embrace the person I have come to be. I’m not so sure I would have been able to if not for all the resistance getting here. Without ever knowing it, my sister has assisted me more than almost any other human in my life. Not to mention my whole family and the important roles they played that would insure my personal development.

I am ever so grateful.

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Important Words


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It’s not exactly ‘deja vu’ all over again…….but

Smart phones and scanners and dummies with cameras texting and staring at a 2 inch light box…….never look up .

Plus all the multiple choices one may muster and call education…….

The only real critical ingredient missing is only critical thinking……..that’s all.

They only forgot to teach people how to think! That’s all.

It’s not like it’s the end of the world……… it? Cause I didn’t hear about it on Fox or MSNBC.

It’s always the end of the world online……….(the shock value has worn itself out.)

“They” say the Illuminati invented the ‘New Age’………….

and all the ‘Light’ workers are waiting for their ‘Light bodies’ to be Illuminated…………..uh oh!

What top do ?  What to do ?

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A Tipping Point

I was listening to an interview with someone who has written a book about what may be our future as humans plus.  Like in not so many years the development of artificial intelligence will be so far ahead it be beyond imaginable, imagine! We could be way down the list of  priorities as just regular humans sooner than you think. …and here I was worrying about DNA when that’s probably the least of our worries!  Yikes, the name of the book is “Forbidden Gates” by Tom Horn.  I’ve seen other interviews about his books before and he’s a very interesting man and comes from a religious background so he has a very diverse point of view.

It can be rather scarey thinking about our future considering how little there is in the way of progress these days.  There are no moral challenges, no-one is even paying attention anymore and forget about any legal issues since our new way of doing business is what is your price? Face it, everyone has a price.  It’s the way of the world now and there are so few exceptions it’s hardly worth mentioning.  So trans humanism may not even merit a second thought to some in fact I’ll bet there’s a whole lot of folks who will think it’s the greatest thing since sliced bread. The problem here is that we know now what a bad idea that turned out to be, sliced white wonder full gluten…a better friend candida could ever have. So it’s just another bummer about life, as if the future wasn’t bad enough our present state isn’t so great either…speaking of food, air, Agenda 21….I could go on but I’m getting depressed.

I also know from experience on this very blog that if someone doesn’t like what you say it will simply disappear right before your eyes. I remember once we had a 1st amendment.  That was then this is now.

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